Topics & Ideas for Writing Slam Poems

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Could they bring the message That's written above, And tell us that, most of all Christmas is love. Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer Grandma got run over by a reindeer Walking home from our house Christmas eve You can say there's no such thing as Santa But as for me and Grandpa, we believe She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog And we'd begged her not to go But she'd left her medication So she stumbled out the door into the snow When they found her Christmas mornin' At the scene of the attack There were hoof prints on her forehead And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back Grandma got run over by a reindeer Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve You can say there's no such thing as Santa But as for me and Grandpa, we believe Now were all so proud of Grandpa He's been takin' this so well See him in there watchin' football Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle It's not Christmas without Grandma All the family's dressed in black And we just can't help but wonder Should we open up her gifts or send them back? The challenge is in getting your words into the proper number of syllables in each stanza. There are lots of examples in front of us where we found many such poets that become poet after a great struggle and they really a great work in this field.

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Topics & Ideas for Writing Slam Poems

Funny Christmas Poems I love reading funny Christmas poems, they always give me a good giggle! Which to be honest, we all need at Christmas when things can be a little on the stressful side at times... On this page you'll find: Great for incorporating into Christmas card messages. Too long to use as Christmas card verses, but fun nonetheless. Ever since I found these and watched the videos, I find myself singing them as I go about the house, much to the amusement of my husband. He wished that he could warm himself, Beside the fire, so red, He wished that he could climb Upon the big white bed. Longer Funny Christmas Poem A Politically Correct Christmas ~ Anon Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck... How to live in a world that's politically correct? And labor conditions at the North Pole, were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul. Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety, released to the wilds, by the Humane Society. And equal employment had made it quite clear, that Santa had better not use just reindeer. So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid! The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh, because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA, And millions of people were calling the Cops, when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops. To show you the strangeness of today's ebbs and flows, Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose. He went to Geraldo, in front of the Nation, demanding millions in over-due workers compensation. And as for gifts... Nothing of leather, nothing of fur... Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her. Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot, Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise. Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys. Nothing that claimed to be gender specific, Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic. No candy or sweets... Nothing that seemed to embellish upon the truth. No baseball, no football... Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe. So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed, he just couldn't figure out what to do next? He tried to be merry he tried to be gay, but you must have to admit he was having a very bad day. His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground, nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found. Something special was needed, a gift that he might, give to us all, without angering the left or the right. A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision, each group of people in every religion. Every race, every hue, everyone, everywhere... So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth... The wreath which had merrily Hung on the door Is scattered in pieces All over the floor. The stockings that hung In a neat little row Now boast a hole in Each one of the toes. The tree was subjected To bright-eyed whims, And now, although splendid, It's missing some limbs. I catch them and hold them. They lick me, then run off To see what they've missed. And now as I watch them The thought comes to me, That their's is the spirit That Christmas should be. Should children and puppies Yet show us the way, And teach us the joy That should come with this day? Could they bring the message That's written above, And tell us that, most of all Christmas is love. Longer Funny Christmas Poem The Boy Who Laughed at Santa Claus ~ Ogden Nash In Baltimore there lived a boy. He wasn't anybody's joy. Although his name was Jabez Dawes, His character was full of flaws. In school he never led his classes, He hid old ladies' reading glasses, His mouth was open when he chewed, And elbows to the table glued. He stole the milk of hungry kittens, And walked through doors marked 'no admittance'. He said he acted thus because There wasn't any Santa Claus. Another trick that tickled Jabez Was crying 'Boo' at little babies. He brushed his teeth, they said in town, Sideways instead of up and down. Yet people pardoned every sin, And viewed his antics with a grin, Till they were told by Jabez Dawes, 'There isn't any Santa Claus! They hurried through the portals pearly, And Jabez left the funeral early. Like whooping cough, from child to child, He sped to spread the rumor wild: 'Sure as my name is Jabez Dawes There isn't any Santa Claus! No infant dared hang up his stocking For fear of Jabez' ribald mocking. He sprawled on his untidy bed, Fresh malice dancing in his head, When presently with scalp-a-tingling, Jabez heard a distant jingling; He heard the crunch of sleigh and hoof Crisply alighting on the roof. What good to rise and bar the door? A shower of soot was on the floor. What was beheld by Jabez Dawes? The fireplace full of Santa Claus! Then Jabez fell upon his knees With cries of 'Don't,' and 'Pretty Please. Although there is a Santa Claus, There isn't any Jabez Dawes! Your magic don't scare me, it doesn't' And suddenly he found he wasn't! From grimy feet to grimy locks, Jabez became a Jack-in-the-box, An ugly toy with springs unsprung, Forever sticking out his tongue. The neighbors heard his mournful squeal; They searched for him, but not with zeal. No trace was found of Jabez Dawes, Which led to thunderous applause, And people drank a loving cup And went and hung their stockings up. All you who sneer at Santa Claus, Beware the fate of Jabez Dawes, The saucy boy who mocked the saint. Donner and Blitzen licked off his paint. He won't have to use our dirty chimney flue Just bring him through the front door, that's the easy thing to do I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes To see a hippo hero standing there I want a hippopotamus for Christmas Only a hippopotamus will do No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses I only like hippopotamuses And hippopotamuses like me too Mom says the hippo would eat me up, but then Teacher says a hippo is a vegeterian There's lots of room for him in our two-car garage I'd feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes To see a hippo hero standing there I want a hippopotamus for Christmas Only a hippopotamus will do No crocodiles or rhinoceroseses I only like hippopotamuseses And hippopotamuses like me too! Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer Grandma got run over by a reindeer Walking home from our house Christmas eve You can say there's no such thing as Santa But as for me and Grandpa, we believe She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog And we'd begged her not to go But she'd left her medication So she stumbled out the door into the snow When they found her Christmas mornin' At the scene of the attack There were hoof prints on her forehead And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back Grandma got run over by a reindeer Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve You can say there's no such thing as Santa But as for me and Grandpa, we believe Now were all so proud of Grandpa He's been takin' this so well See him in there watchin' football Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle It's not Christmas without Grandma All the family's dressed in black And we just can't help but wonder Should we open up her gifts or send them back? Grandma got run over by a reindeer Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve You can say there's no such thing as Santa But as for me and Grandpa, we believe Now the goose is on the table And the pudding made of fig And a blue and silver candle That would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig I've warned all my friends and neighbors Better watch out for yourselves They should never give a license To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves Grandma got run over by a reindeer Walkin' home from our house, Christmas eve You can say there's no such thing as Santa But as for me and Grandpa, we believe! More Christmas Poems, Quotes, Wishes, and Messages I hope you enjoyed my selection of funny Christmas poems! Here are some more pages with Christmas card wishes and greetings you might like. Choose from 3 festive designs.

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